In today’s world couples struggle to maintain successful love relationships that last. Statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. Many couples are choosing to cohabit but still want a relationship that is stable and loving. You may have unrealistic expectations of romance and long-term partnerships. You may have an idealized vision of the perfect relationship based on your dreams, ideas, and fantasies. The media often inspire fantasy ideas about marriage. When a marriage begins to lose its “glow” and reality sets in, many couples break up rather than trying to make it a viable relationship. So, here are seven tips to divorce-proof your marriage: 1. UNDERSTAND THAT RELATIONSHIPS GO THROUGH DIFFERENT STAGES The initial “falling in love” phase is an exciting and amazing stage of a relationship, but it is important to know that this is only a stage. It is not likely to last. Many couples do not make an effort to grow when they encounter the ‘power struggle,’ the second stage. Those who grow through this stage can then move into a deeper, more mature love. In what stage is your relationship? A) newly in love B) Power struggle C) Mature love. What might you do to ensure you get through the difficult “power struggle” stage to progress to the mature love stage? 2. MINDSET: GROWTH OR FIXED? Do you believe you and others can grow and change or do you say “That’s just the way I am.”? Knowing that you can learn from experience
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Has “dating” become a four-letter word? When it comes to finding that special someone, do you feel a sense of hopelessness, wondering if that person is even out there? What if I told you that there is a way to enjoy the process of meeting your perfect partner? And that you are actually in control of your love life? You attract what you are, which is why Relationship Coaching starts with your relationship with the most important person in your life: You! The more you love you, the more love you will attract from others. Relationship Coaching helps you embrace and express your authentic self, then going out into the dating world as her to connect with the ideal mate who’s also looking for you. We explore your past relationships to uncover negative belief patterns and define who you truly are. Along the way, you gain clarity on what you want in all areas of your life, dismantling patterns that no longer serve you and developing strengths that do serve you in any kind of relationship, personal or professional: Speaking up for what you want Recognizing what you need to feel acknowledged Defining your values and purpose Visualizing what you desire and making it your reality Most of all, feeling love, compassion, and trust for yourself and others When you have all that, you won’t need a special someone to make you feel good about yourself, so the relationship you create with your soulmate will be happy, healthy, and full of genuine love.
“Dating”? I’m pretty sure I just heard a collective groan from the introverts of the dating world. It’s OK! You are not alone. And here’s another statement that may make you gasp a little. Ready? Dating can be enjoyable if you have the right attitude! I know – I’m shocked too! Just thinking about going on a date can be exhausting for an introvert. Once the date is made, you start arguing in your mind about why you should just cancel it and curl up on the couch to watch your favorite show instead – right? The good news is that there is a secret to dating that makes it possible to put “enjoyable” and “dating” in the same sentence: You are the chooser – plain and simple. Just as with everything else in life, you create your reality in dating. You choose who you want to go out with and you choose if you want to continue to see this person. Take a moment to think about how you think about a first date. What goes through your mind? “I hope they like me.” “I’m so nervous.” “What if I say something embarrassing?” …and on and on with the self-conscious thoughts. With a well-formed dating plan, those won’t be the questions that come to mind. Yes, I said “plan.” That’s not a word you’d typically hear with dating, but as a SoulMate Coach, I can tell you it makes all the difference for my clients. Here’s why you need a dating plan: As an introvert, you have a
A picture of what you ate for breakfast. A rant about the annoying guy who cut you off on the highway. A heartfelt plea for understanding as you go through a difficult time. People today share a lot more with their loved ones than in years past – and often with their extended network and even the world-at-large, too. Some of this sharing is innocuous. Harmless. Little slice-of-life anecdotes that could have come from anybody. But some of it is not. It goes deeper. Means more. And when you involve others in your disclosures – particularly disclosures about your partner – it can open a whole can of worms. Even something seemingly innocuous can feel embarrassing. Like a violation of trust. Private moments and feelings between two people are supposed to be just that – private. So, when one partner shares them without the permission of the other, it typically hurts. Now imagine that it’s not just a private moment or feeling being shared, but a complaint. One member of a couple criticizing the other to the public. To their friends. Think that feeling of being violated is magnified? You’re darn right it is! But why? THE UNSPOKEN PROMISE OF A LONG-TERM ROMANTIC PARTNERSHIP When two people decide to become romantic partners – whether that means marriage or simply staying together over the long-term – it comes with certain commitments. Certain promises to each other. Some of these may be literal. They might be things that are actually voiced. Or written down. Or however you
“Should I Stay or Should I Go?” is one of the most common questions we get from our clients who are agonizing over their relationship, desperately wanting to make the right choice and wishing they had a crystal ball to foresee the future consequences of their decision. While we don’t have the answer for your unique situation (and wouldn’t believe anyone who said they did), our goal as relationship coaches is to support you to make this life-changing decision as clearly, positively, and confidently as possible.