44% of U.S. adults are single. 27% of these adults live alone. (Source- census.gov) If this trend continues, soon, the majority of the population of the western world will be single.
Helping singles have fulfilling lives and successful relationships requires understanding that not all singles are alike. Most singles do not fit the stereotype of being lonely and desperate for a relationship.
The Relationship Coaching Institute identifies the following seven types of singles:
- Temporarily Single. Someone who is actively seeking a partner and in between relationships.
- Recently Divorced or Widowed. Someone recovering from loss and not ready for a relationship.
- Frustrated Single. Someone who wants a partner but is not able to find one and gives up.
- Passive Single. Someone who wants a relationship but not actively seeking a partner.
- Single But Not Available. Someone who has a self-perception of being single and desires a lasting relationship, but “hooking up” to get needs met.
- Busy or Distracted Single. Someone absorbed in being a single parent, career, school, etc. and doesn’t have the time nor the desire for a partner.
- Single by Choice. Someone who has no desire for a partner. Being single is a conscious permanent lifestyle choice for many reasons, including-
- “Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again”
- “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
- Ascetic or other religious or spiritual reason
- Is a Loner
- Values independence more than couplehood
- Polyamory or alternative lifestyle that doesn’t lend itself to cohabitation
- Celibate or asexual
- Financial reasons
Each type of single has their own unique developmental goals and challenges. This requires specialized skills and strategies to effectively coach each individual so they may experience relationship success, independent of the advice-driven approaches of other professions.